The pro-life and pro-choice narratives have been used to describe the very complex topic of abortion and it is time we started questioning this.  Any time you find a complex topic being narrowed down into two opposing narratives, you should immediately smell a rat because you can be sure that someone somewhere is taking advantage of the ensuing division.  In the case of abortion, the polarization has greatly benefitted politicians who take advantage of people’s almost cult-like belief in whichever side they happen to believe in.  In the US, abortion has been raised in status to almost the single most important issue during elections.  Many people there vote for candidates based on this one issue, with considerations such as integrity or other more important issues fading into the background. 

Abortion has been portrayed as a black or white issue with only two possible angles from which it can be viewed.  You are either for it or against it.  There is nothing in between.  There is no space for a nuanced view of such a complex topic.  This extremist view can only cause division while the real issues get lost somewhere therein.  It’s interesting to note the complete lack of compassion in the debate.  We might as well be talking about an inanimate object for all the compassion that is shown.  While the debate is supposed to be about the rights of women, the result has unfortunately been to reduce women to simple, uncomplicated beings who need to be told what to do with their bodies.  The debate has become about two opposing views fighting for supremacy and the woman who is supposedly being fought for has somehow faded into the background.  A woman’s fertility is not and never has been a political issue.  And yet it has been politicized and turned into a battleground that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with women anymore.  Are we still talking about helping women control reproduction?  If we are, why is abortion the only option on the table?   We have to focus our attention on women and ask ourselves what they want and what they need.  We also need to look at the false narratives and assumptions that are preventing us from holistically looking at this issue.  As long as the foundation on which we base our argument is wrong, we cannot expect to arrive at the right conclusions.

The debate has become about two opposing views fighting for supremacy and the woman who is supposedly being fought for has somehow faded into the background. 

Someone once said that if you want to keep people passive and obedient, all you need to do is strictly limit the parameters of acceptable opinion and then allow lively debate within these parameters.  This gives people the impression that there is freedom of speech while reinforcing the system that creates these limitations.  This is what has happened with the abortion “debate”.  The only thing we are allowed to talk about is whether we are pro-life or pro-choice.  These are the parameters that define almost every discussion on abortion.  The truth is that there are many different ways to look at this issue and the right conclusion can only be arrived at by considering all the angles rather than forcing people to choose a side.

False assumptions

The abortion debate is based on several false assumptions.  For example, the question of when life begins has been used to determine when it is acceptable to have an abortion and when it becomes unacceptable.  But the idea that life “begins” is itself a false assumption that immediately sends the debate in the wrong direction.  The reality is that life is an ongoing process that does not begin or end when one enters or exits the planet.  Once we understand that a person does not start existing at the point of birth and will not cease to exist at the point of death, then we can start looking at abortion with more rationality and without the hysteria.  Many of us have an inner knowing about the ongoingness of life, hence the concept of previous lifetimes.  The concept of reincarnation is held by many people although it is very much denied in the Christian religion.  If we could only be open to this idea, we would start seeing through the false assumptions that underline the abortion debate.   Once we understand that people are constantly coming into embodiment and leaving embodiment, then we will understand that life does not begin at conception or some point thereafter.  The person who is being born already existed before they entered into embodiment.  The answer, therefore, lies in looking at human beings as spiritual beings and life as an ongoing process of birth and rebirth that allows us to have different experiences that lead to our growth.

The abortion debate is based on a lack of understanding of what a human being is.  One of the central questions of the abortion debate is whether the foetus is a human being or a mass of cells.  This is the result of a materialistic way of looking at human beings.  If you think about it, this very mindset is the source of many of the problems on this planet, from racism to inequality.  When we look at human beings as if they are nothing more than the bodies in which they reside, we cannot help but treat them differently based on their outward, observable features.  But when we acknowledge that human beings are spiritual beings and the bodies we occupy are simply the vehicles that allow us to interact with the physical realm, we can then be ready to look at the abortion debate in a higher way.  If we consider the fact that “we are made in God’s image”, then we realize that God is not a physical being but a spiritual being.  This is the mystery behind the idea that we are made in God’s image.  We are spiritual beings like our creator and we do not have our beginning or end on this planet but we have an existence beyond this planet.  Therefore, the question of whether life begins at fertilization or after the cells start multiplying is a false narrative that is used to confuse people and trap them in a lower way of looking at things. 

It has been said that you cannot solve a problem at the same level of consciousness in which it was created.  You have to go to a higher level of consciousness to solve the problem.  People are obsessed with exactly when life begins.  Pro-life advocates insist that it is at fertilisation while pro-choice advocates insist that it is at birth.  None of these positions is correct.  As mentioned earlier, this argument comes from a lack of understanding of what a human being is.  A human being is not the body they inhabit, therefore asking when life begins is asking the wrong question.  Am I, therefore, saying that the body does not matter?  Of course not, the body matters because it is the vessel that enables us to exist in this world.  My purpose is to correct the foundation on which the abortion debate is based.   Once the foundation is correct, then you can hope to arrive at the right conclusion, not by looking at the issue simplistically as is currently being done but by considering all the assumptions that go into discussion.

The free will of the mother

Pro-life advocates and some governments insist that the foetus has a right to be born.  Once conception takes place, the woman has set herself on an unstoppable path and she has no choice but to bring the child into embodiment.  But if we look at the issue from the standpoint that the child already existed even before they were born, we realize that bringing the child into embodiment is something a woman takes upon herself as a loving act of service towards the child.  Bringing up a child is not a joke as I pointed out in my previous article.  Bringing a child into the world is a commitment you make to spending a large chunk of your life supporting the child in order to allow them to experience life on this planet.  This is not a small matter and therefore it cannot be forced upon anyone. If a woman falls pregnant by accident and for whatever reason feels that they are not ready to commit to bringing up the child, then no one can or should force them to do so.  The foetus does not have a right to be born by someone unwilling to do so.  If we lived in an ideal world, there would never be the question of anyone becoming pregnant against their will.  Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world and many people do get pregnant against their wish.  It is therefore an unfortunate fact of life that many women do need to get an abortion to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy.  This is the area we need to be focusing on: why is it that women are still unable to control reproduction today and still find themselves needing abortions?  We have to look at this issue in the long term and come up with better solutions for women.  But the underlying fact is that the foetus does not have a right to be born by a woman who in some way is unable or unwilling to take on the task.

Right to choose?

Pro-choice advocates often talk about a woman’s right to choose.  A woman indeed has a right to choose, but this should not be confused with a woman’s right to an abortion.  These are two completely different things.  A woman’s right to choose is often portrayed as the same thing as a woman’s right to an abortion but they are not the same thing.  Abortion is just one means by which we enable a woman to control reproduction, but it is not the only way or even the best way.  We need to separate these two issues in our minds.  Those who supposedly fight for a woman’s right to choose are not giving her much choice.  They present abortion as the only option while glossing over any other options that might make abortion unnecessary.  It is almost as if abortion has developed a life of its own and become an end in itself, not a means to an end.  Have we forgotten that the real goal is to help a woman choose when and how many children she wants to have?  What other options exist for women?  What about birth control?  Why aren’t we out there fighting for free, safe, government-provided birth control if we are serious about a woman’s right to choose?  Why do we have tunnel vision that leads to abortion as the only thing that guarantees a woman’s right to choose?  I don’t think any woman sets out purposefully to have an abortion.  Women look for abortions only because they find themselves cornered with a pregnancy they do not want.  How can we help women not end up in this position in the first place?  Our role should be to support women in controlling reproduction as painlessly and efficiently as possible.  The focus on abortion to the exclusion of everything else is a distraction from what the real focus should be. 

Is abortion right or wrong?

Whether abortion is right or wrong is not the point.  When we focus too much on this, we lose sight of the bigger question which is: why do women seek abortion in the first place?  Why would a woman want to terminate a pregnancy?  The reason women seek abortions is not because they want to have a painful procedure (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually) just for the fun of it.  It is because they find themselves in an untenable situation.  The reasons are many and varied including:  too young to be a mother, do not want more children, birth control failure, unstable relationship, wrong timing, change of mind, ashamed, cannot afford a child, rape, incest, the relationship ended, etc.  We cannot know all the reasons women want the procedure.  Trying to moralize is not going to help them out of the situation.  The rightness or wrongness of abortion should not be the focus but rather how to help women solve the problem and how to ensure that going forward, women are not finding themselves in this situation.  Should we accept that women should continue experiencing the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual toll of abortion or should we find ways of helping women control reproduction in ways that ensure they never find themselves cornered into seeking abortions?  How do we ensure no one ever has to get to the point where they need an abortion by equipping women with the tools necessary to control their fertility?   When we treat abortion as a religious issue or a legal issue or a women’s rights issue, we miss the bigger picture and come up with bad, myopic solutions.   If we could only put ourselves in the shoes of women seeking abortions, we would understand that it is not something anyone would do willingly. 

Women are unfortunately used to being talked down to and being told what is and isn’t right for them.  People always feel the need to tell women what is and isn’t right, rather than giving them solutions that work and are healthy for them.  Our bodies are seen as are objects that people feel entitled to control and make rules for.  This is something that continuously works against women because we end up with solutions that are not in our best interest.  It is as if our bodies are the battlefield for forces that do not care about us or our well-being but only care about power and control.   The abortion debate is not really about our well-being but about who gets to control us and profit from us.  If it was about us, then we would not be having discussions that centre around legislating our bodies.  Those who are against abortion want to make rules about what we can and can’t do with our bodies.  Those who are for abortion seem to be fighting for our right to have a harmful procedure instead of effectively equipping us to not need to have one in the first place.  The discussion seems to be based on the assumption that someone needs to make laws concerning women’s reproduction.  Why is it that in the 21^st century when all other areas of life have advanced so much, we still have not managed to control reproduction and have to rely on crude methods to manage it?  It is because women are not a priority on this planet.  It is because it is acceptable for women to experience what would be unacceptable for men.  I’m quite certain that if it was men who carried pregnancies, we would not be discussing whether or not to allow abortions because technologies would be in place to ensure no one experienced unwanted pregnancies in the first place.  We continue blaming women for their fertility instead of enabling them to control it.  We need to get past this acceptance of bad solutions for women. 

Our bodies are seen as objects that people feel entitled to control and make rules for.  This is something that continuously works against women because we end up with solutions that are not in our best interest.  It is as if our bodies are the battlefield for forces that do not care about us or our well-being but only care about power and control. 

Violence against women

It says quite a lot about our state of evolution that we still cannot control reproduction and have to rely on crude methods to get rid of pregnancies.  Reproduction seems to have been left behind in the dark ages when we used to perform crude operations on the human body.  All other aspects of medicine have developed to the technologically advanced practices we have today.  Meanwhile, we continue to rip babies out of mothers’ wombs as a form of birth control.  Is this really what we deserve as women or can we demand a better level of care?  Our bodies have always been the objects of violence.  Why is it acceptable that women should experience yet more violence under the guise of controlling reproduction?  Because it doesn’t matter what anyone says, abortion is a form of violence against women in that a child has to be forced out of the womb.  It is not a gentle procedure by any stretch of the imagination.  I understand very well that it is all women have at the moment, but that doesn’t mean we can’t look at its merits and demerits.  By politicizing the issue, we are forced to hide the fact that abortion is not a pleasant experience and only look at it as something to legislate.  Why is it acceptable that women should routinely have unpleasant procedures?  Why can’t we demand better for ourselves?  Is this the best we can come up with?  We always hear about the sanctity of the unborn child, but what about the sanctity of the mother?  As much as I support a woman’s right to choose, I find it hard to accept that abortion is the best we can come up with.  If we put our minds to it, we can come up with a much better, universal method of birth control that ensures that no woman ever has to suffer through an unwanted pregnancy or abortion.  That truly is something worth fighting for. 

The shame surrounding women’s bodies

Women are taught from a very young age to feel ashamed of their bodies.  We are taught to hide and be secretive about our bodies because our bodily processes are supposed to be shameful.  We feel shame when our bodies start changing and we suddenly become subject to the male gaze.  We feel shame when we start menstruating.  We feel shame when we become pregnant, especially young women who become pregnant before their time.  We feel shame during childbirth when strangers peer at our private parts.  We feel shame when we go through menopause with the cliched portrayal of menopausal women as angry and somehow repulsive.  Women carry a lot of shame and it is this shame that surrounds the topic of abortion.  Why do some people fight so hard to stop abortion?  It is because of the desire to punish women by forcing them to bear the consequences of their secret misdeeds.  Female reproduction is not taken as a natural part of the human experience.  It is considered a shameful experience and it has been used to keep women down.  There is usually a lot of disgust directed towards women’s reproduction.  We express disgust towards women who have more children than they can take care of, especially poor women in developing countries.  We express disgust towards young women who get unwanted pregnancies.  We express disgust towards women who experience their sexuality in ways we do not approve of.  We express disgust towards women seeking abortions as if a woman wanting to get rid of an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy is something we cannot comprehend.  Is this really what women deserve for their God-given ability to bear children? 

Way forward

In my opinion, the first thing we need to do is educate people on how to manage reproduction.  Let us stop approaching reproduction as something shameful that needs to be controlled through legislation.  We need to educate both boys and girls about how to prevent pregnancy from the time they reach childbearing age.  Let us openly teach about birth control methods in school so that everyone is equipped with knowledge on how to control their bodies.  This should not be approached as something to be ashamed of, as if pregnancy is something unnatural.  Today, parents have to keep their fingers crossed when their children become teenagers hoping that they make it through this period without getting pregnant.  We need to stop crossing our fingers and take practical, common sense measures. Secondly, we need our governments to provide safe, long-term, preferably non-hormonal birth control to all women from the time they reach childbearing age.  We don’t need to wait for girls to become pregnant and then punish them or wring our hands in despair.  We need to approach female reproduction as a natural part of life that should be dealt with realistically.  Mothers should be empowered to lovingly introduce their daughters to birth control as soon as they reach childbearing age, with no shame attached to this.  Governments should facilitate this process by providing free birth control. This is how much we need to normalize birth control and teach girls to take charge of their fertility, just the same way we teach them to take charge of other aspects of their bodies.  Last but not least, abortion should be a last resort when all else fails.  It should not be presented as the only way or even the best method of controlling reproduction.  We have to openly acknowledge the shortcomings of abortion, even as we accept that it is all we have at present to deal with unwanted pregnancies.  We need to focus more on prevention rather than cure.  After all, pregnancy is not a surprising or unexpected phenomenon.  With education and the provision of free birth control, we can control reproduction such that no one ever has to experience an unwanted pregnancy or abortion.